Target is the Epitome of Evil Pt. 1
Written 6/7/2005
I just spend 15 minutes looking up the word "epitome". Riot. This post has been in the making for quite some time. I was going to write part of it a long time ago, but then waited as I became part of the post. I won't waste any suspense here, as you already know anyway, this is about the good ol' Target Corporation and my friend and my adventures with it. Long ago, my friend decided that he was going to get a job at Target. In fact, his brother, who works for the company, is a top of the chain copy person for their corporation headquarters, here in MN and was the inspiration for my friend to get this job. His brother is the one who was going to get his foot in the door for this job. He applied back in December, I think it was, and didn't hear hide nor hair of 'em until the end of March, when they told him that they would be interested in hiring him. Now, my friend, he dabbles in the dark arts (we'll keep it vague, although I'm sure I'll give away exactly what I'm referring to shortly), so he started freaking out because he had to, sort of, straighten up and fly right. To apply to a corporate job, you usually, I'm assuming, have to take a drug test as a part of company procedure before they hire you. He was a little worried about whether or not he would be able to pass the test or not because he hadn't expected to get this job, given the length of time of their response. So he called me and asked if I knew any home remedies, to which I didn't, but I suggested that he drink water like it was the most abundant resource on the planet. Fortunately, he had already begun this endeavor. He then asked me to check out this website, to which I can't recall the URL. It was a site that advertised some product that would allow one to pass a drug test if the test was taken within 5 hours post consumption of the product. I checked it out and told him, "What do you have to lose?" I was a little skeptical of the product because I thought that there would have to be some chemical in the product that either had a concentration that would drown out the THC in your blood, or would have to be very reactive to attack THC and manipulate it into some other untested form. It's not always a great idea to put those things in your body, but he read me the ingredient list in case I could scan out any possible toxin-like substances. After I heard it, I laughed. He had purchased a highly potent energy drink (about 3 times as powerful as Red Bull). The day had come, and after about a month or so of drinking a gallon of water a day, he went in to do the interviews. He got through both of them without any problems, and he was notified that after he took the drug test, he would be hired. He took the test and was hired, but then fate had other plans.
I just spend 15 minutes looking up the word "epitome". Riot. This post has been in the making for quite some time. I was going to write part of it a long time ago, but then waited as I became part of the post. I won't waste any suspense here, as you already know anyway, this is about the good ol' Target Corporation and my friend and my adventures with it. Long ago, my friend decided that he was going to get a job at Target. In fact, his brother, who works for the company, is a top of the chain copy person for their corporation headquarters, here in MN and was the inspiration for my friend to get this job. His brother is the one who was going to get his foot in the door for this job. He applied back in December, I think it was, and didn't hear hide nor hair of 'em until the end of March, when they told him that they would be interested in hiring him. Now, my friend, he dabbles in the dark arts (we'll keep it vague, although I'm sure I'll give away exactly what I'm referring to shortly), so he started freaking out because he had to, sort of, straighten up and fly right. To apply to a corporate job, you usually, I'm assuming, have to take a drug test as a part of company procedure before they hire you. He was a little worried about whether or not he would be able to pass the test or not because he hadn't expected to get this job, given the length of time of their response. So he called me and asked if I knew any home remedies, to which I didn't, but I suggested that he drink water like it was the most abundant resource on the planet. Fortunately, he had already begun this endeavor. He then asked me to check out this website, to which I can't recall the URL. It was a site that advertised some product that would allow one to pass a drug test if the test was taken within 5 hours post consumption of the product. I checked it out and told him, "What do you have to lose?" I was a little skeptical of the product because I thought that there would have to be some chemical in the product that either had a concentration that would drown out the THC in your blood, or would have to be very reactive to attack THC and manipulate it into some other untested form. It's not always a great idea to put those things in your body, but he read me the ingredient list in case I could scan out any possible toxin-like substances. After I heard it, I laughed. He had purchased a highly potent energy drink (about 3 times as powerful as Red Bull). The day had come, and after about a month or so of drinking a gallon of water a day, he went in to do the interviews. He got through both of them without any problems, and he was notified that after he took the drug test, he would be hired. He took the test and was hired, but then fate had other plans.
posted by P-Wagz at 6:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home