You Say Emo, I Say Emu

I don't know how you emo kids do it. When I hear even the tiniest of emo songs, my blood wants to flow from every pore in my body. I feel so overwhelmed by the music that I want to flip out and run naked down the expressway! I finally understand people who criticize Linkin Park (one of my favorite bands) stating that it makes them want to [insert grotesque, unadulterated and uncensored self-inflicting situation here]. I'm not saying it's bad music; I like a lot of it, but in small doses. Otherwise...I...I...can't even describe what it is...