Sunday, May 06, 2007

Poetic Justice! Gloom! Gloom!

As I walked
I stumbled upon
A path most would dare not tread upon.

The trees, barren, skinned
The lights murky and dim
My emotions a shell
Yet now beginning to well.

A slave to dredge on
Feeling nothing but gray
I sensed only darkness
Lonely, my soul flayed.

My body was numbed
By the anchor I carried
An anvil of guilt
Had been keeping me weary

Eating crumbs of despair
Despised, and unaware
That I was robed with aggression
From our failing's ascension.

Alone in the dark
I had only one thing
to keep me going - to stop my tears from flowing.

This box of light
My love and my pining
An imperfect jewel
You send my stars aligning.

It was to you that I wandered
But you had since left
And I'm left to ponder
What am I to do?
Without you I am somber.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Needs some serious work, Neddy.

4:12 PM  
Blogger P-Wagz said...

And here, I hope are the improvements.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rhyme scheme is still off the 1st and last stanzas don't fit. I really think you should try not to rhyme or come up with rhymes that work without too much work.

12:56 PM  

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