Meh?

Life is difficult enough to deal, without me throwing my crazy thoughts into the mix to further the madness of this haphazard existence! With that said, I love you guys! It's fun reading all your thoughts on all your blogs. It's really quite inspiring. Although some of you think that your lives are boring, you truly inspire me, and make me think that you all find ways to entertain yourselves better than you say you do. While reading your blogs, a thought occurred to me. It was how polished and careful-not-to-step-on-each-others-toes some of my family is. I'm really not trying to dog them, I do love them all, but we seem so fake sometimes. At our yearly large social gatherings, usually Christmas, the older generation asks the younger generation what they've been up to and how school/work (if they are out of college) is going. This is about the all of it. We don't have any real conversations, at least not to my recollection. Perhaps, we don't need to, or maybe we just don't know how to talk to one another. It could be that I expect too much from my family. I would hazard a guess that my aunts and uncles don't want to hear how I went out and got shit-faced (or something to that effect) the other night, but something is better than this repetitious fogged over exchange. All the while, some of older generation is smoking pot and doing other things the younger generation usually is associated with. That's an entirely different point as well. I don't want to tell my family how I go out and party and get a vivid foundation-shaking view of their private lives that I would rather not know about in exchange. Now I think I'm not giving them enough credit. I'm thinking I've just come full-circle and things should rather stay the way they are than branch out into radical change.

One of my Chinese classes for my minor, my graduate level class, go figure, is making me read 160 pages in the first week! I don't know if I can do this. Usually I cram all my reading in the night before it's due, such as before a test or something. My financial aid was held up, and then released when they discovered I, in fact, did not overdraw on federal funding, but was at the exact amount I could take out as an undergrad. How would I have any control over that? I thought the government lends money on the level of need based on information an individual submits via the FAFSA? Nothing like the grave errors of others that results in your downfall. That was a scary thought, as it's my last semester, and I wouldn't have been able to attend because of lack of funding.

I'm both excited and filled with stress and fear. My good friend Blue Pumpkin (check my links) is getting married and his wedding is coming up! Also, my one of my best friends, MDT and his girlfriend are going to the proud parents of a baby girl and I'm the Godfather (look out!). I actually stressed for both of them, as I can barely get through college dealing with the financial hardships when I'm not in repayment on loans, so I don't even want to know what it'll be like for him with a child! I'm mostly stressed for Blue and his fiancé' because I have to come up with two speeches; one for the groom’s dinner and one for the wedding. You all know I have no ways with words when it comes to vocal communication. I kin ryt well sumtimes too!

P-Wagz