Muzakul Inturistz

Hey Y'all,

I quite posting what I listen to during the week because I don't think anyone cared. If you do want to know, let me know, and I'll continue posting it. I got the idea from a friend, and figured I'd try it out. Anywho, I'll post tomorrow.

Have a most excellent evening!

P-Wagz

T.R.U.S.T. Company

If you haven't picked up your copy of TRUST Company's True Parallels yet, I highly recommend doing so!

P-Wagz

A Thank You and Stuff Else

First of all, I'd like to extend a thanks to Blue Pumpkin for indirectly correcting my misspelling of hoarded (I wrote "horded"),so thanks to him. Also, a thanks to him for keeping my sanity last night as I trudged through the most painful lab report I've ever done, ever!! I must have spent approximately 10 hours on the son of a bitch. I hate BIOCHEMISTRY. This brings up a point made today by a bunch of my biochem major buddies and me. We were discussing how we would kill ourselves if we had to obtain the knowledge and perform the techniques of biochem for the rest of our lives. Their escape - med school. Me, on the other hand, well, I'm just not majoring in it anymore. I really want to leave the country and study in the rain forest before I graduate. That's probably not going to happen, though. Just like my plan to travel to China to intensively study Chinese. Oh, and Visavide, if you are reading this, we're still going to Europe, fo' sho'.

This brings up an important point about procrastination, and everything I just talked about. I always assume that I'll do it later. For example, this lab report I just finished 3 hours ago. Had I started on it during break instead of watching Naruto non-freagin'-stop, I wouldn't have had to spend 10 hours on it. I have to give myself some credit, though. I would have started on it, had I not had a paper due in expository writing on Tuesday. Oh...wait, I PROCRASTINATED ON THAT TOO!!! It's sad for me to say, but I always perform my best when I procrastinate. I always get the job done, and I always luck out. One of these days my luck will run dry - just not today. Here's the other thing I forgot to mention. When I went to lab, I didn't turn it in during lab (when it was due), I expected to lose 10% of my grade (the penalty for being late), but then I found a loop hole and got out of it (my TA would accept it as long as she was still here tonight [which she was]). I told myself that I had hit rock bottom earlier in the day and that my procrastination caused me to turn in something worth 1/4 of my grade late. I thought I was gonna turn a new leaf...ha! That shows me!

By the way, the paper that I posted, "The Trade", I got an A on it. I thought I wasn't going to do well on it. In fact, I know my Prof really liked it, because he asked for a copy, which means he's going to use it in his class in the future! I'm thinking of becoming a writer and screwing all this crap (except the band career)!!

The last thing I want to do is type. After that report, my brain is numb and my fingers as well. I feel quite awake and aware of my surroundings for not getting adequate sleep in the past few nights. Eerie...

If you haven't yet, I advise you to check out Naruto. It's quite possibly the most addicting show I've ever watched. I've mentioned it before, but just in case you are tired of reading my sh*t over again, I'll recap. It's an anime, not too violent, a little blood here and there. It's about children becoming ninja and their trials to become stronger. If you are interested, and you have my personal contact info, email me, and I will send you an episode or two to whet your whistle.

I wanted to say something about last weekend. I hung out with the Blue Pumpkin. We went to an old hang out place - Perkins. There we indulged in some of the finest crap food you could ever fathom. It was great, we talked a bunch and then hit the bar afterward. One part of our conversation centered around communication. Something I've learned about myself over the years, is I have terrible personal communication skills. I stutter, look away from my listener, and show no body language or confidence. I'm working on it though. Random

Why do I talk about this stuff?? I like rambling on about stuff that doesn't matter. It's good space filler. If I could give an award out for best impression on me today it would go to...who else have I been talking about the whole time Blue Pumpkin. His latest post commemorates his anniversary of appendix removal. It caught me so off guard, I don't know what else to do but congratulate him!

I'll leave you all with a story. Stuff else were words I uttered to my family when they asked me what I was learning in school as a child. My response went something along the lines, "Math, Science, reading, stuff else...," they all erupted with laughter and mirth. I'll never forget it.

That reminds me of another time when one of my bestest buds and I were chillin' as children. We used to hate the devil for some reason or another, so when we got pissed off, or something bad happened, we would flick him off - the bird straight towards the center of the earth. Unbeknownst to us, we were probably flipping the bird to some defenseless China man, but we were young, what did we know. This particular instance stays with me, because I created the "double cross", where you use both fingers and cross them, making the f*ck you twice as powerful. The devil never knew what hit him.

Sleep Well,

P-Wagz

bored...

Hey gang. I'm in the process of writing my resume'. Oh, what joy it is. I feel like I'm turning into a piece of paper and will soon be filed away next to hundreds of other prospective employees. There is so much for me to do in terms of homework and such, but since I'm on break, so I just don't want to do it. As a result, I'm quite bored. Maybe I'll go watch some Naruto.

~~~~oooouuuttt

P.S. Happy St. Patty's Day. I forgot to mention on the day - Happy 311 Day (I'm such a slacker)! And I call myself a fan...:(

Coony the Sewer Cat & Other Tales

A wonderful spring break it has been so far. On Friday, I went out to celebrate my friend Allison's (not real name) birthday, which was actually a two weeks ago. We went to Gameworks™ in downtown Mpls. There, with some other friends of ours whom I haven't seen in quite some time, we went bowling and played DDR and all that fun stuff. While we were bowling, there was an announcement that there would be a contest for a $25 bar tab. The contest was the first person out of 5 people who could unknot a frozen t-shirt and put it on wins. Both Allison and I partook in the event, however, neith of us won. We did get free t-shirts out of the deal, though, which was pretty freakin' sweet! Nothing says lovin' than a free t-shirt for a college student!

So, to stay true to the title, the story of Coony. A while ago when walking to the courtyard of my apartment building, I saw this large cat run and dive into the large opening of a street drain. At the time, I thought, wow, a stray cat survives by living in the sewer system. I wasn't too surprised though, given the strange things I've seen around campus in the animal world. I've seen a squirrel with an entire piece of pizza in its mouth, I've heard stories of squirrels foraging through backpacks to eat people's snack treats hidden within, a squirrel has run up and almost touched my shoe, a squirrel once scared the crap out of me as I walked past an outdoor garbage recepticle. It shook the plastic liner by its survey of the bag's contents and I almost had a heart attack. Speaking of squirrels, I've even had one in my apartment room! I realize by now that I've gotten way off subject, but this is a great story.

One evening a year or so ago, my roommatess had some people sleep over at the apartement. If you've ever been in my apartment with a large group of people, you already know how hot it gets. My roommates opened the windows to cool the place for their guests, but they accidently left the screens open too. The next morning, I heard about how my roommate Tim (not real name) went into the neighboring roommates room, to find a squirrel perched on the bed of one of our sleeping buddies, Jeff (not real name). He awoke Jeff exclaiming that there was a squirrel in the room. From what I recall, he put on full protective gear consisting of pots and pans and some articles of his work uniform and searched for the creature as it had scurried away after being discovered. Eventually, they chased him out. The funny part is when I came home later that day, I saw the squirrel sitting on Tim's large subwoofer. I tried chasing it out, but once it scurried outside, it kept trying to reenter, and I didn't want to put my hand out the window to close it, because the thing almost bit me when I did. After attempting to scare it away from the window, if finally left, and I closed the windows. It turned out that after it vacated the premesis the first time, they only closed the screens in the bedrooms, not the living room! One last squirrel story, and I'll stop, I promise!

I was walking outside behind my apartment building, when I saw this squirrel perched on the top of the door of a car with its window open. It sat there chewing in some morsel until it noticed me, whereupon it hoarded the morsel in its mouth and dove into the car! Bear in mind that this occurance happened shortly after the invasion of my humble abode, so I made no attempt to fischer out the squirrel. I assumed it was the same squirrel. I did however, notify the owner of its presence.

Back to Coony! I saw this large cat many times over the next few weeks. One night I was walking to the courtyard again. I saw the cat pounce into the opening, but this time it poked its head and tail out. There, in an opening that I thought was too small for it, sat the biggest racoon I've ever seen! I told my non-g/f about it and dubbed him/her Coony. I love how drawn out that was with other miscellaneous stories, considering the fact that the Coony story was extremely short comparatively.

Last note of the night. I practiced/wrote a song with my non-g/f last night. Using a chord progression that I created a while ago, she was inspired to write a poem from it. We ended up deciding that the lyrics didn't fit the chords, but it was a worthwhile activity anyway. Through the actions of one, P-Wagz, during this session, my non-g/f informed me that I am not very driven for my dream of being in a band. She was 100% correct. I do not put in the time to play guitar and get better, nor the effort. It was huge reality check for me. With that said, I am going to vow that I will make a considerably larger effort to realize my dream. That's all for tonight!

I hope you are all well!

P-Wagz

Replication Technique for Deciding One's Major

From a seemingly depressing year, to what is becoming a better and better ending to my college career, I think I have finalized the switching of my major, in my head anyways. With all things considered, it doesn't matter what major I choose. The work force looks that I have a degree. If, for example, they are looking for a B.S. in Microbiology, they will state this, but also they will tag on "or in a degree in the associated biological sciences". Now, I've decided to go with a B.S. in Biology. My remaining coursework, which will be 3 classes, will satisfy the major requirements, which will result in my degree. However, since it will still take me a year to finish, I'm going to take additional classes to emphasize in either microbiology, or plant biology. This will make me a likely candidate for the "or in a degree in the associated biological sciences". Basically, having a degree in biology, I can probably get in anywhere I want. My academic advisor told me that I've done more directed research than most students, and I have skills in biochemistry because of that research (well, it's more like genetics). I've been told employers like the fact that students have lab techniques outside of the classroom. I didn't even think about the fact that I've been setting myself up quite well for the workforce in terms of things besides my major that the industry looks for, i.e. study in another language, directed research, leadership from BCQ. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm ready for life to begin!

I guess the only wrench in my spokes is if I decide to go to pharmacy school. Then I will have to take more classes the satisfy the prerequisites. Then I'll probably have an extra semester. Well, if I decided to go travel abroad for a semester, that may be another wrench, or if I do an internship in biology to the rain forest. I've got a little time to think about that stuff though.

Anyway, happy break for those of you who have spring break right now!

P-Wagz

Whillups and Gizleblum

Indeed!

I ran into a couple of old buddies today at the Target in my hometown. I had attended a funeral earlier, which I won't discuss, and upon returning home, my father asked if I could spare some money for my doggie's insulin. Shadow, my dog, has been diabetic for a couple of years now, I think since sophomore year so we have to purchase special high fiber food and insulin for him. Anyway, I ran into Jack (not real name) and talked to him. He had recently received a degree in music engineering and production and has offered me studio time in the past, but has had some trouble finding work, so he works at Target for the time being. A girl we both know from high school was trying to get studio time with him, but since he has a degree now, he doesn't get free studio time any longer, so he must wait until no one is using it, or until someone attending gives him some time. I told him my updated situation with my major. Actually, I'm going in to talk to an advisor tomorrow about changing it and my options in doing such. So I bid him farewell and was on my way out, when I saw Adam (not real name). He was working the photo area. He didn't see me at first, and I actually did a double take when I saw him. After he noticed me, we talked briefly and I was on my way. I hadn't seen Adam since my junior year in high school, so it was good to see he was well. As for my BCQ tour, we went to the CBS greenhouse. My group of students this semester had the best reaction there than any of the other groups I've had in the three years I've been doing this. They were really interested and we stayed there for longer than a half hour (the usual time). Most people don't know about the greenhouse or if they do, they think, "Oh, wow the greenhouse. What...they have cool grass there?" when actually the greenhouse has a plethora of exotic species. They have themed rooms and a tropical "study" room. It's one of my favorite places on campus.

That's all for the weekly update!

Peace,

P-Wagz

Godly Whirls a.k.a. The Intricacy of God

Yo! Funna get my drink on and my snack on...
Sorry I don't know where that came from, I just had to get it out. I suppose that means Spring Break is upon us.

First thing. I had a strange revelation in my World Music class yesterday (funny how all these things keep happening in that class). Our professor was explaining the Islamic religion to the class. She said that when a Muslim starts praying to Allah, he/she starts as a drop in the ocean and becomes the ocean as he/she prays. This is somewhat parallel to an idea I have of what God is. Since I have lost faith, I had this notion that when we die, we collectively become God. From here our souls are changed, and sent back to some other life form; this is similar to reincarnation. However, this is not exactly what I believe God is. In my eyes, God is inexpressible, uncomprehensible, and unseeable. We are never to understand God for it is not for us to understand. So many people think the human race is supreme. That we can "see" God. Nah uh, no way. I do not think this is the case. Although we are the only example of an organism that has the ability to reason (that I know of). This is why also why I have a difficult time explaining my beliefs to someone - I haven't quite figured it out yet. From time to time, I sometimes think there is no God. I think it is feasible that life was just an "extremely difficult" accident (if those words form a comprehensible statement) in this potentially infinitesimal universe. But then I realize, it had to start somewhere. Even if we are currently in the expansion era of the universe and it will someday collapse back down to nothing, there was a beginning. Even if time is just a giant circle and there seems to be no beginning or end, a circle must start somewhere. It must be created. Think of when you draw a circle. Even if it were perfectly circular, you placed your pen or pencil down somewhere to start drawing it. For some stupid reason, I forget that there had to be a beginning somewhere.

It may upset some of you who I know personally to hear that I will most likely not be a born again Christian. There are too many things about it that I don't agree with. I will give it a chance by reading the Bible, but it is here where my disputes with the religion lie. I also would like to read the Quŕan one day to see its insights on God and the world. In fact, I will probably read all of the world's religious texts - I probably won't agree with just one either. Going back to Christian ideology - don't get me wrong, I believe in the Devil, and I believe in sin. I don't believe that saying an individual is my God and savior relinquishes my sins. I feel by what I do here on earth via good deeds and kindness and selflessness, will my sins be cleansed. Sometimes, I think God and the Devil are the same. I believe in balance in everything. God has a plan for you, and if you choose to go to hell, that's your choice. You can not tell me that it is not in God's plan to save everyone. You can not go back on what you say by stating that God has a plan for you unless you chose not to do it - the consequence resulting in going to hell - and then stating that that was not God's plan. If God is who everyone (a poor choice of words, since God is who the individual thinks God is) says God is, God has to deal with the fact that there are choices God must make. There is no such thing as perfection. I believe that Jesus Christ existed, but not that he was flawless and he did not sin. If we are born into sin, because of the deeds of Adam and Eve, and he was born on this earth, then he was born into sin. On that notion, please keep in mind that I haven't read the entirety of the Bible and that I will take back any misinformation I may have written.

I don't believe in blind faith because you have but one life. If you waste it believing lies (not saying that any religion is a lie), what did you waste your life doing? You can still be a good person in your own name. Just because you are human doesn't mean you can't owe yourself some gratitude. It is not selfish to do a kind deed in your own name. I also leave this open for oppositional comments and discussion!! I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with this so far, but it is what I believe.

There was an amazing notion that my non-g/f brought up a while ago and I just couldn't wait to post it (I originally wrote this draft sentence many weeks ago). If God knows everything, technically does he know about cloning? God is the genome if behavior is influenced by genes. It is said that knowledge is forbidden, and if you know too much, you will be less faithful. Is that why I've heard that the search for knowledge is evil? Adam and Eve ate the apple and gained knowledge - their eyes were opened. Is this also why genetic research is looked down upon in certain religions? If your genes are your plan (they have been shown to shape behavior and it is a fact that your genes are what makes you you), then technically in a way, your genetic code is God. It has been found in many organisms that the genetic code is much the same except in specific areas. The universal currency for energy is ATP - IN EVERYTHING. Just some thoughts...

Did you know this side of me?

P-Wagz

Jimminey Crickets!

What's this?!? A post on Tuesday? This is unprecedented! I just wanted to say that sometime today I hit a really good mood, so hopefully this positive vibe thing continues! Also, in my World Music class, we practiced throat singing, which turned out to be something I taught myself how to do when I was young. This style of music comes from a country in north western Mongolia called Tuva. It was a most enjoyable day, the sun was shining, but it was a little cold; nice crisp weather added to my already radiant day!

Cheers!

P-Wagz

Hyphenation

Garden State - I just watched Garden State, with Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. I hate hate hate it (not really, I loved the heck out of it). But, oh, man was it one of the best movies I've seen in a loooong time! I recommend it to all. I thought it was a chick flick at first, but it turned out to be more. It's actually exactly what I needed to see at this point in my life.

Transparency - If anyone reading this has felt transparent, let me hear you roar! I walk down the streets and people run me off the sidewalk as if I don't exist. I feel that I should not be a push over and just slam into them, but I also feel that one day, I won't have to. They will just move. I had this feeling again when Blue Pumpkin's cousin walked right past me the other day. She was in my graduating class. I thought, "I was invisible in high school, I guess I'm still invisible here...". She very well may have not seen me, and I could have been the bigger person and said hi, but I made it my own little experiment. I'm not upset that she didn't see me, just something that popped into my head. Perhaps I'm just feeling sorry for myself?

Happiness is lost - I've noticed my lack of positivity these last few years. For those of you who know me well, you know that I'm a really positive person, so this infusion of numbness is as puzzling to you as it is to me. These next few days, weeks, years- however long - I'm really going to try to get my positive flow back. Here are some lyrics that may give you a good vibe...

311 - Inner Light Spectrum
There is one thing I
will say on life
we are livin
let it flow
cuz it won't stop

Terry and Shanna - This is something I wanted to mention a while back. Earlier in Fall semester, I met the people who's names are listed above. Terry was an older gent, and Shanna was a girl working in the St. Paul labs who is graduating this semester (from what I remember, she was). It was one of those sort of weird incidents that you only reflect on years later, or in my case, a semester later. We were waiting for the campus connector buses which come every half hour after 10 pm. At this time, they apparently do not stop at the stop we were waiting at, so we sat at this stop and got lost in conversation for an hour, before realizing something was amiss. I reflect on this not only because the two people were awesome individuals, but because they were interested in mushrooms and I was able to talk a lot about what I knew about them for the first time in a non professional manner. I won't get into fine details, because only a geek like me would be interested in me repeating what we talked about, but Shanna, who already secured a seat on a bench, asked me what I was doing on the campus this late, and I told her about my herbarium job. Terry, who had already been standing at the stop when I arrived, listened in. She brought up something about the mushrooms in her back yard, and I explained why she couldn't get rid of them by way of defining their morphology and growing behavior (you can't pull out mushrooms, it will not rid you of them). Terry started asking me about wood rotters (shelf fungi), and I explained their morphologies and growing behaviors as well. Later, we switched subjects, giving our liberal opinions about certain governmental positions that we were particularly disgusted with. Eventually, we moved to the right stop and parted ways. I will probably never see either of them ever again, but I will never forget them! Terry told me about how he and his wife made artist conk (shelf fungus that you can write on the underside of) gifts for Christmas one year, and Shanna is from New Guinea. These things will be with me always.

I've been listening to...well, now that I look, many different artists due to the random play on itunes...Here are my mobile choices (ones I listen to when away from computer)
A Perfect Circle - eMotive
T.R.U.S.T. Company - The Lonely Position of Neutral
the kILLERS - Hot Fuss (I can't stop listening to this one)
Quarshi - Jinx (I've been looking for this album for a long time. It is one of my all time favs now!)
Def Leppard - Euphoria
Filter - The Amalgamut
Limp Bizkit - Chocholate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water

Peace y'all

P-Wagz

Black Clouds

Okay...so I have tons of stuff to talk about tonight. I will probably spend most of the night working on this blog. First of all, I just came from a BCQ meeting (explained in previous post). We talked about the old times about how the leaders got into BCQ and I remembered the good old days of college, when our orientation group (which happened to be the "best" one [we had our group's picture in the flyer for orientation the following year]) still all talked and Blue Pumpkin, at that time, reassured me that we wouldn't talk to each other by the end of college, much to my dismay. He was right. I don't really talk to the people in my orientation group, with the exception of my non g/f. Not on any real personal level anyway. I still see them and say hi, but that's about it. We used to be a tight bunch, all used to hang out all the time, study, eat, what have you. We all attended BCQ together as students, and all became leaders. Some of my fondest memories of college are in Itasca State Park with those people. I won't get into details, but some of us parted ways on bad terms due to some people's poor communication skills. Anyway, that was all brought back tonight just by discussing how we came to be leaders. By the way, the people in my orientation group that became leaders with me aren't there anymore, but other people I've known for a while were. This leads to me saying something cliche' and somewhat unrelated to the above ramblings. With your time on this planet, do what you want and do it now, because you may never have the chance again! I've wasted many hours of my college years here at work. It sucks, but I can't help my financial situation. Of course there were other things I would have liked to do with my time, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. They are definitely forming. Clouds...

This brings up the concept of memories. I try not to live in the past, but from time to time, a good memory springs up, like the one's vaguely referred to above, and I get all nostalgic and melancholy-like. I used to live in my memories when I was between 14 and 16. I have journals of those days on floppy disks, very detailed descriptions of weekends that I never wanted to forget. I feel my heart sink a little knowing that it'll never be the same again. Innocence is lost forever. I'm feeling that way right now.

Memories don't always bring melancholy, though. Some of my best and happiest times are trapped in memories. Getting caught after curfew, getting so high, my eyes were more red than an apple (I know drug related, you don't have to say anything), bringing home Shadow from the cabin for the first time. The list goes on. If you love memories the way I do, I have an exercise for you. One of my best friends had to do a memory tree in one of his classes. What you do is write down a person's name and think of some memories you have with/of them. As you go on to write memories of/with other people, you will remember other memories from people you already wrote about and you will start remembering hundreds of memories. I started this task a while ago, but haven't done anything with it recently. There are many concerts, Perkins visits, high school get-togethers, and hang-out nights left to be remembered.

I've gotten completely off track as to what this post was supposed to be about. Black Clouds refers to one of my favorite Papa Roach songs. I chose this particular title because of the crap that life has been throwing at someone in my life. I feel that they have a black cloud following them. This person is close to me, so I have felt some of the brunt. I've discovered that I need peace of mind for while. Maybe religious, but not necessarily. With all of college and everything else coming at me, I need a break. I know I've talked about this before, and I'm getting sick of it. I act as if I have it so terrible that I can't figure out what I want to do with my life. There are people dying everyday, people who really have to struggle, that work 2 jobs just to get by. I'll probably find a pretty decent job once I'm out of college, boo hoo on me, huh? I'm finding that I'm letting the weight of the world swallow me up, though. The hatred, struggling, and bleakness of the planet has been tugging at me like a lost child looking for guidance to find its way. I often feel like I'm the main character in a story. I have something important to accomplish in my life, but I feel that right now, I'm stuck. I was shocked to hear from one of my coworkers one day at Pizza Hut say that he knew I would be a great man one day. I'm still surprised at this because I am not the leading type. I don't like being a follower, but that doesn't mean I'm a leader. People used to tell me in high school that I was really smart. I could never figure that out. The only reason I got good grades was because I conformed, folded like a cheap card table I did. All I ever did was what the teachers told me to do. That got the grade. I make some of the most stupid mistakes as anyone. I admire those who got crap grades, who barely graduated, or didn't graduate at all. They are the true leaders (well, some of them). The free thinkers. People outside the square. People who have the ability to see things from a vantage point and defragment situations and solve them before they become real problems.

Rambling rambling 'round we go. I've noticed that a specific, somewhat hated genre of music from my past is taking a bite out of me. I'm really starting to love rap. I admire the "dope rhymes", the lyrical structural skills. Don't get me wrong, rock will always be number one. I was going to write more, but I'll put it in a later post. This way, at least some of my thoughts will be comprehendible to the post intended.

I guess, the best way to end this post is to ask you, what do you want to know about me?

Woot~

P-Wagz