Pinstripes and Laser Guides

Does anyone ever notice that people violating some traffic law or another think that leaving their hazard lights on makes them invincible to the law? The other day, I saw someone parked out in the middle of the street with their hazard lights on; keeping in mind that this street is usually crammed with cars because it is a patient drop-off area. Fortunately, because of this zone, there are areas where cars can actually park out of the way of oncoming traffic. This individual, however, decided that blocking off one side of the street (near a bottle neck in the road) was the most convenient choice for them. Curious indeed! The next time I have to alleviate myself, I'm going to stop in the middle of a four-lane freeway and do my business. But none of you will be angry with me - I'm using my hazards.

Speaking of the word angry. Here's some English syntax for y'alls. Using the word "mad" is usually misused commonly, in this language. You cannot be mad at someone because you would be insane at them. Now I feel like an English teacher. Thank you, Mrs. Madsen.

I don't know how in touch with gut instincts, or how spiritually connected to the world you all are, but personally, I've been feeling something coming on that isn't good. I don't claim to be a prophet, and for certain, do not like the feeling that something bad is approaching, but the feeling is there nonetheless. What with the tragedy hurricanes are causing in the south, a bad storm hitting my home town and the surrounding area badly enough to knock out power for nearly a week, non-g/f and my hamster getting Cushing's syndrome, and some other various things I won't mention for the privacy of our viewers, I sense a dark omen. There has been an exponential increase in the amount of assholes that come into work and harass (sexually and otherwise) my friends. I was taught long ago, that increase in pollutants in our environment would cause more severe weather due to ions and reactive radicals from the sulfur and nitric chemicals in our air. With that said, either we coincidentally are getting hit by a ferocious bout of weather (and jerks), or we are starting to seriously infect our world, our home (/workplace). Do me a favor when you are done reading this - hug a tree (or a photocopier).

I took my non-g/f and my roommates on a mushroom adventure last week! There was a large gilled mushroom about 10 feet up in a tree near my apartment. I didn't have a ladder, yet wanted to collect this beautiful specimen. I asked my roommates one night, with much doubt, if either of them happened to have a ladder that they could acquire without too much trouble. They replied with a no, but my roommate Bizzle said we could use one of his loft heads from his bed as a make-shift ladder. I pondered the implications involved for a while, then decided that it was a possibility I wanted to explore. After discussing it with them for a minute, we decided that Matti would scale the loft head, and retrieve the 'shroom because of his giant-like height, e.g. he was the tallest. We found the necessary equipment - a towel to catch the falling fungus, another towel to prevent scratches on the loft head from the tree, the loft head, and a broomball stick for poking. The rag-tag band of adventurers that we were set out into the brisk September evening to do a job of pending peril. We reached the old elm which was halfway "deconstructed" by a working crew due to Dutch Elm Disease and set up camp. Matti nimbly hoisted his lanky stature upon the loft head, found his bearings and realized that the broomball stick was throwing off his balance. He ditched it, then started peeling away bark from the tree to get a better angle at the mushroom. Eventually, he peeled a large mass of it away, it started to slip, tumbling away in his grasp, and after a few aerial somersaults, he regained control. The whole time I was thinking, "Matti, drop the damn thing, or you'll fall off and hit your head! The stupid mushroom isn't that important!" I later told him this and we had all had a laugh. After he had it, I requested he drop it onto the stretched out towel non-g/f and I had splayed open. It bounced off the towel onto the ground, but was left unscathed. Matti got down, and we headed for home, a brisk 30 second walk away. This time, I looked like I was carrying a head in the towel, and we received a few strange looks from passersby. When we got it inside, they all sat staring at it in wonder whilst I feebly attempted to classify it. This thing was over a foot long! I ended up at an oyster mushroom - a common choice edible. I brought it in the next day for my world renown mycology professor to look at. He didn't get a glimpse of it until a couple days later. We still don't know what it is for sure.

My classes are taking a heavy toll on my body. Tae Kwon Do and ABM are physically exerting classes that cause me to go into comas at night from exhaustion. That combined with my Judo class, where my body is throw head over heels onto my back at least 10 times twice a week, doesn't help. Overall, the semester has been quite fun. I don't fall asleep in my science classes, and the phy. ed. classes are a barrel full of primates.

I discovered something fun to do for those of you with minds of 12 year olds, like me, who have time to waste. Go to the apple website and order an ipod. It will bring you to a screen where you may engrave something on the hind end of the machine. The site censors nothing, so you can write what ever your foul, sick, twisted mind can think of. To the right of the text entering space appears an ipod and, after a second or two, the words you entered on the back of it. Non-g/f and I thought of some fun things, "will you marry me?", "The warts will clear up, I promise.", "I'm pregnant with your best friend's child", "I just sold your soul to a man claiming to be God". Fun stuff.